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Love is in the air! As Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, I’ve been pondering what’s the true essence of this holiday? Pausing, I find myself doing some deep soul-searching and here’s what I have found: We are missing the thoughtfulness and presence in the relationship with the people we love. You might be thinking,
“What in the world are you talking about….I am both thoughtful and present; I’ve gotten the candy from Godiva, made dinner reservations, rented a limo and/or brought flowers home”.
You may be thinking I’ve thought this through and besides isn’t it the thought that counts? Hold that thought, if I’d like to bring it to your attention that you’ve had good intention, but it’s your attentiveness that is lacking. Ask yourself, are these things I’ve done traditionally in the past? What is it that my partner is anticipating this year? What are their likes and dislikes? What gets them fired up and beaming from ear to ear?
Granted you can do anything for them, at any time and on any day of the year. Yet, the question remains are you paying attention to them and their interest? Have we’ve gotten so used to society telling us what we should do for Valentine’s Day? So much so that we have lost that true presence, thoughtfulness and essentially the connection with the person we say we love the most. For this Valentine’s Day, I want us all to be more present and thoughtful in our love gift giving this year.
Below are some ideas that may ignite your partner’s fire this year. Hopefully, you’ve been paying attention to them and you won’t need this guide (again, be present in your relationship….pun intended)!
For the Ladies– TOUCHDOWN! : if your booski is a fan of any sport, hence all of his favorite teams memorabilia – bumper sticks, clothes for your kids, cards and video games – it may be time to grab him some season tickets to the upcoming year! He will be sure to show much gratitude for this gift. Added bonus: attend a game or two and root for the team on the opposing side that may ignite some connection to show that you support him in his love for the game but that you will make it fun and light.
- For the Gentlemen – Dress Code: some of you prefer to be in your timbs (Timberland boots) and jeans for every occasion and every outing but I recommend that (and not just for this holiday) that you allow your lady to style you. She love when you dress up like the gentleman you are and knows you to be – deep down inside. Let her see you in a different look, this will surely turn her on to looking enticing for you later on in the evening.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to me! : take out the time to LISTEN! We rarely are listening when our partner is speaking which leads to misunderstanding on any day; we are all on autoresponder just to be agreeable….this is not real presence. To make the best impression on your partner, listen with the intent to take in their perspective. Have the patience to allow what they’ve say to register and if you need clarity, ask questions. Your partner will notice and appreciate your attentiveness in the conversations and their thoughts – sure to make the night and your days filled with respect and some good lovin’!
For the Love of You: music connects us all, music inspires the soul to show up and be at its best especially when it comes to L.O.V.E! R&B/Soul is coming back and it is a good time to get back in touch with that soul. This holiday, make sure you purchase those concert tickets to see some of your favorite artists (old school and the latest) that will undoubtedly uproot the romance and passion you have neglected in the past. Forever Charlie Tour featuring Kem & Joe is coming to many cities so go snag your tickets from Ticketmaster.com – here’s the link to the Atlantic City show http://www.ticketmaster.com/charlie-wilson-with-kem-featuring-joe-atlantic-city-new-jersey-02-14-2015/event/02004D83EA576AD7 or if you are in the DC Metro area, you can go see Blackstreet/SWV/After 7/Tony, Toni, Tone’ and other great artist at the ShowPlace Arena http://www.ticketmaster.com/Blackstreet-tickets/artist/1019032
- EattoLive – With society becoming more health conscious, getting fit and eating better – now is a great time to learn how to cook HEALTHIER! With all the fasts, challenges, recipe Instagrams, one doesn’t know where to start. We will have more time to get more in-depth on this conversation but for now, why not take a couple’s cooking class or a few. This is a great idea to come together with other couples and expand your social life as well. LivingSocial.com is a great online platform that has great listing for cooking classes to participate in and sure to accommodate your budget – saving too!
- Intimacy & Passion Speaks – Instead of going in for the kill, no warm up no nothing – try finding out what their secret fantasy or fetish is. I guarantee that just having the conversation will turn them on and up. I have come to find that having the judgment free discussion about what you’ve always wanted to try but never had the courage to because you were afraid of what your partner would think of you, is the best way to release the inhibitions in your relationship.
Remember that all of these are suggestions but I encourage you to take notice to your partner’s interests from this point out and if you want some more helpful advice, I came across a great link for improving your relationship in 2015 and beyond! Take note that some of you are not in rhythm with hugging frequently or being spontaneous but that is what this is about – getting out of your comfort zone with how you THINK you show love!
10 Ways to Improve Your Relationship – http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20853691_3,00.html